Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Lida Rose, I'm Home Again, Rose

After leaving this blog dark for more than a year, I'm making my penitent return.

Yes, I'm flaky.
Yes, I'm lazy.
Yes, I have been busy this past year!

At the end of July 2011, I moved back down to Santa Maria. As I think I mentioned before, being almost halfway between Los Angeles and the Bay Area felt like an extremely convenient option for the sake of auditioning in both locales, and I was on-point with that. I haven't made it to nearly as many auditions as I'd have liked to, but I think I've been finding a decent balance between my muggle life and my actor life so far! I have a really fun job at a beautiful (and yummy!) winery, where they are VERY flexible with my schedule, and I also spend a couple days a week babysitting one of my former Acting teachers' daughter, Gabby. On a related note, in November, I went ahead and invested in a subscription with Backstage. For those who don't know, Backstage is a huge, weekly publication with tons of articles and advice from various perspectives in the entertainment industry (mostly pertaining to performers), which also includes hundreds of audition notices from all over the country. Backstage also has a full website, which is updated daily with these same audition notices. Backstage.com has made it infinitely simpler for me to seek out auditions, submit for auditions, and even send in video auditions for out-of-state companies.

I have been very fortunate this summer to once again be acting professionally with PCPA Theaterfest, my current theatrical homebase. I was originally hired to play the role of Enid Hoopes and to understudy the role of Vivienne Kensington in Legally Blonde: The Musical, and I also wound up being contracted as the Female Swing for their remount production of Little Women, which was an unexpected and very educational opportunity for me. Legally Blonde closes on August 19th, and I'm trying hard not to lose my momentum as the show nears it's end. For the past few months, the one other thing I have been focusing very closely on is school research. I'm pretty sure I previously talked about trying to forego an undergraduate degree in favor of moving straight into a Master's program, but in my research, it became evident pretty quickly that my options were going to be so limited by that goal that I wasn't certain I would wind up with the kind of quality education I really need in order to grow into the type of experienced actor and educator I'm hoping to become. I therefore refocused my school search primarily on BFA programs, and after researching literally HUNDREDS of schools, I have, at this point, narrowed my list to 19 schools. To get to this point in my hunt for the "right program", I have a set list of priorities, and the 19 schools still standing meet at least a few of the my preferences, based on the following:

Good Location
Style of training (Liberal Arts-based versus Convservatory-style) 
Affiliations with Professional Companies
American Sign Language/Deaf Studies/Hearing and Deafness minor 
Showcase 
Study abroad options 

Once I have narrowed down my top 4-6 choices, I will be able to start taking financial matters into consideration, but until I have been accepted, I won't know what types of financial aid (namely scholarships and grants) may be available to me for each program. The programs I'm still considering are: 

The Boston Conservatory (Boston, MA) 
Cornish (Seattle, WA) 
Penn State (University Park, PA) 
Columbia College Chicago (Chicago, IL) 
University of Cincinnati, College Conservatory of Music (Cincinnati, OH) 
University of Hartford (Hartford, CT) 
Northern Illinois University (DeKalb, IL) 
Roosevelt University/Chicago College of the Performing Arts (Chicago, IL) 
Boston University (Boston, MA) 
Western Michigan University (Kalamazoo, MI) 
Minnesota State University, Mankato (Mankato, MN) 
University of Minnesota, Twin Cities (St. Paul, MN) 
Montclair State University (Montclair, NJ) 
Purchase College (Purchase, NY) 
University of North Carolina, Greensboro (Greensboro, NC) 
Ohio University (Athens, OH) 
Texas State University, San Marcos (San Marcos, TX) 
Southern Utah University (Cedar City, UT) 
University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee (Milwaukee, WI) 

 and, since I'm getting down to the really challenging decisionmaking, I would love any information or opinions people have about any of these schools, so please, by all means, share! I'm going to try to post on here more frequently, so as not to have to cram 14 months into a single entry again. Trying.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Crazy

I've figured something out.

I don't like just writing about my day. Anywhere. At any time. I will write about extraordinary things that have happened in my day, but never just about the day itself. In this same vein, I don't like just writing about things I've been doing. When I find myself writing in that capacity, it's because I simply don't have any more interesting things to say or talk about, and that makes me feel boring. When I feel boring, I'm far less inclined to write things, because who the hell wants to read a laundry list of what has and has not been happening in my life? Really, what it comes down to is that, if it's bland enough that I'm never going to feel compelled to re-read it, I know I'm doing something wrong.

So, yes, I am back after six months of blog-silence...because I've been figuring a LOT of somethings out. I feel like I've lived five years in these last six months, with all the planning I've done, all the plans that have fallen through, and all the futures I've toyed with pursuing.

Two weeks ago, I was offered an opportunity to move to New York in five weeks' time. Having just been bitching about my desire to do so, I could see no reason not to, nor could any of the people around me (including my very logical, infinitely supportive, and understandably saddened boyfriend). I could just have quit my job, picked up, worked at Starbucks, and given it a go. The lease was up at the end of October, so I would have had an out after a mere three months if I decided I wasn't up for it. I got excited, and terrified, and went into ultra-planning mode. Everyone kept saying "You're only young once! You won't always be able to just get up and go! You can always come back home again! You never want to be in a position where you find yourself saying "What if I had..."! DO IT! If you don't go, you're not the girl I thought you were!"

I spent some time with the decision, and realized that I'm not the girl that a lot of people thought I was. I'm also not the girl that I used to want to be.

I started hearing a lot of "Well, I guess you did what was right for YOU...", which, in most cases, seems to translate loosely to "You're going to regret this, but it would be rude to just SAY that.". And I understand that perspective on it. I do. Seriously. I understand that a lot of the people closest to me are worried that I'm going to, for the rest of my life, find reasons not to follow through on this part of my dream, because it's EASIER and more COMFORTABLE to just let it fall by the wayside. Frankly, part of me is worried about that, too...and that's why I felt so much pressure from myself to take advantage of this chance, even though I didn't feel 100% right about it. But then, while sitting at my dad's house hashing out the details of the New York option for the thousandth time in 24 hours, my dad's wife, Erin, said the first thing that made me feel calm about it since the idea had first presented itself to me:

"I want this for you. I think you SHOULD experience New York, I think you would love it. But, I think that you underestimate your ability to make things happen for yourself. If you don't go to New York now, that doesn't mean that you won't go to New York. You can do anything. Really. ANYTHING that you want to do. You can absolutely make this happen, but you can do it on YOUR OWN TERMS. New York will still be there in a year, or two years, or whenever you decide to go. It will still be there when you've had time to plan for it, and when you feel ready for it."

If, five years ago, someone had told me that my Stepmother would say the thing that would finally help me feel comfortable making this type of life-altering decision, I probably would have kicked them in the shin and run away with a loud and specific suggestion about exactly where they could shove that radical notion. That said, I'm really glad she was there to say that...because no one else did, and that was rough.

I felt like I was weak for not being SURE that I wanted to take this huge leap, and make this huge move, and completely change my whole plan for the next year. However, with this "You can do it the way you want to do it" revelation, I felt like a functional human being again.

The thing I've realized through all this is that I really needed an abrupt reminder of ALL the things that I want to be part of my future. It's so easy to get caught up in what makes the most sense, what will be the most logical course to take, and that's kind of where my mind has been living recently; How much more education do I need? How am I going to find steady work and still act professionally? How much money am I going to need to be saving in order to be able to buy a house after I finish school and get a job?

This might sound silly, but I have a lot of work to do, and I need time to figure out how many details actually need to BE figured out in the first place, and which ones can just work themselves out, dammit.

I'm sticking to my original plan..just with a couple of added details and concessions:

The last weekend of July, I will be moving back down to Santa Maria, for probably the next year. I didn't get the acting internship at PCPA, but they are planning to bring in 8 guest artists for one of the shows this season, most of whom will track into at least one of the summer shows, and I'll be auditioning for that in July/August. I'll be working a day job, as I am here. I may start at Starbucks, but I'm hoping that once I'm down there, I'll be able to find something comparable to what I'm doing now, with comparable pay.

I will also be in contact with my friends, former teachers, and mentors, and will be doing a lot of training, and seeking a lot of advice and assistance while I'm working hard on my dancing, getting into better physical shape, sending out headshots and resumes, and applying to schools. Based on what fruits come of these endeavors, I will figure out the next step in my career, my training, and my life, and as regards the primary topic of this extremely long post, I will, at this time next year, have a plan set for New York. I can't yet speak to what that plan will be, or when it will be put into action, but that's what this year of figuring things out is really for.

And the figuring things out, and the seeking of support, and the occasional verbal vomit? That's what this blog should be for. I'm comfortable having figured that out.

And that's one something, anyway.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Here I am!

...a month later.

Forgive me.

I could list the things I have and haven't done for my career. I could tell about how I got super sick for two weeks and missed all those dance classes and voice lessons. I could be real about the big plans I've made and broken with myself.

What it comes down to is this:

The fire is lit under my ass again, and my eyes are back on the prize (and it's no simple task to keep your eyes focused on any one thing when your tuckus is burning, damn.). I just have to remember where I'm going, and what I have to do to get there. It's just hard to find time OUTSIDE of my work day to do these things.

Daily, I will check in. DAILY. That's the only way I'm going to hold myself accountable. Even if it's only five minutes to say "I'm so busy! My head is exploding! *EXPLOSION*".

Gotta do more to be more. Getting back on the wagon again.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I'm alive.

Ok, ok, it's time already!

Don't worry, I'm not dead.

Work is crazy, I like sleeping, and I visit my boyfriend sometimes. Though, in truth, I've likely spent all my excess internet time recently doing Christmas shopping...so you can blame Amazon for my lengthy absence.

Well, and my laziness. Let's keep it real.

SINCE my last post of any significance, I've done SOME good stuff.

I had my Altarena audition for Spelling Bee. The director called me back for Logainne Schwartzandgrubinneire, which was surprising, but I didn't wind up getting cast. It was fun to audition for a musical, though. It's been a long time since I've done a straight play, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy musicals any less.

I also had an audition last week at The Retro Dome in San Jose for their production of Xanadu, which was a blast. I got there an HOUR late because of traffic, but they were still willing to see me, since they had planned for me, and it felt like it went well...until the sight-singing.

Ok. OK. I have always been bad at sight-reading, in any capacity. I don't mind a cold read. That doesn't hurt. But sight-reading music is my Achilles Heel. I APPEAR to be a fully competent performer, and then someone puts an unfamiliar piece of music in front of me, plunks out the melody once (badly), and says "Sing this.". I didn't BUTCHER it, but it wasn't pretty. However, I'm not kicking myself, because it's always good to get a nice, sharp reminder of WHY you do your research before an audition. This was MY fault.

Such is life.

In other news, I just (literally, five minutes ago) emailed Erik Stein to set my audition date for PCPA in stone. Hopefully, come January 18th, I'll be finished with it and it will be out of my hands.

I ALSO got an email on Friday, informing me that I have been granted an audition slot at the TBA Generals in February. I'll be auditioning for up to 100 Bay Area theatre companies, and I'll have 2 minutes to make them think I kick serious ass. No, I'm not nervous. Yes, I am a liar.

Now I have to print up 100 copies of my headshot and resume, and figure out a way to affix my audition pieces to them without rendering them unusable for the future, so that when 99 of them come back to me, I'll be able to send them to OTHER folks. Anyone got suggestions for where I can get large amounts of good-quality photos printed for cheap? I've been putting this off for awhile, 'cause I'mma need these anyway.

My adventures are dull. Gotta do more to be more!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Time goes by...so slowly

...unless you're trying to do five thousand things, and one of them is a [now sorely neglected] blog.

Don't worry, I'm not putting out for my personal journal either. No one is getting any action right now.

I'll be back. Really.

No, but for real.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Quickshare

I have been grotesquely underproductive for the last week, but I have a callback tomorrow and will do a REAL update after that madness.

First, a video. Welcome to my life:



Enjoy.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I know, I KNOW.

I'm slacking.

I just started this blog, and already, I've begun neglecting it.

I'm sorry, dear blog. Forgive me.

I could blame it on my schedule. This would be unfair, as I have plenty of time at least 2 evenings a week, before the mushy-gushy evening call with the BF.

I could blame it on a lack of activity to report, but this would also (thankfully) be inaccurate.

I may need to make this a daily occurance, just to get back in the habit of writing in a forum which, generally, encourages the use of more than 140 characters per post (DAMN YOU, TWITTER! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE OF ME!!!)

Let's get the negatives out of the way first, so that all my positives seem more impressive:

I blew off TWO (count 'em) auditions in the past two weeks. Well, I should be fair. One of these auditions was for a short (3-5 minute) film that a student at Berkeley Digital Film Institute is directing, and after agreeing to audition for her, I realized that I simply will not have time to take on ANOTHER project until after the holidays, when I'll be working less overtime, will likely forgo the second job, and will suddenly have time (and desire!) to be more artistically involved in the community around me...so I sent her an email apologizing profusely and explaining my situation. For future reference, though, I probably ought not to wait until 3 hours before I'm supposed to meet with a director to send said email.

The other audition, however, I just didn't go to. UNPROFESSIONAL.

Now, all the good things I've done for myself over the last couple weeks:

I auditioned for Twelfth Night at African-American Shakespeare Company (I didn't get in. I can see it all over your face: you're SHOCKED.)
I updated my Theatre resume.
I updated my Actor profile on Theatre Bay Area's website.
I started playing with some light editing on my headshot proofs.
I contacted a friend, who is a professional photographer, about doing a shoot with him in the near future.
I went to my dance classes.
I started taking weekly voice lessons with Matt Liebowitz again.
I scheduled an audition for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee at Altarena in Alameda. It's community theatre, but they may be willing to consider me for roles that I would NEVER be looked at for at semipro/professional theatres. You know, like the "lead".
I saw Peter Pan at PCPA Theaterfest, and subsequently had lengthy chats with a couple former teachers/Resident Artists...and tentatively scheduled my audition for their summer season/the 2011-2012 Acting Internship.

While I was in Santa Maria to see Peter Pan (and, you know, visit my beau), I met up with my 2nd year dance instructor for beers. He is a Resident Artist (Actor/Choreographer/Director) with the company, and will be directing/choreographing this summer's production of Hairspray, which I'm hoping to be cast in. After all the catching up and tech-week-exhaustion commisseration, we finally got down to business. Aside from talking about my audition for Summer Company, he also recommended that I apply for the Acting Internship. I hadn't really considered this an option before, for whatever reason, but now that he's said that, it seems like a great idea. He is a graduate of PCPA, and did the internship as well, and he thinks that, based on where I am right now in my career, it could benefit me in a lot of ways.

Since talking with him about it, I've started to see all the reasons it really makes sense. I've filled out my application and started working on my cover letter. I've also been in touch with the Conservatory Director/Associate Artistic Director and the Casting Director, and they are both in full support of the idea, and are encouraging me to send in my application, and audition, as soon as possible.

DIRECTION! GOALS! MOVEMENT!

It's all very exciting, no?